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Feb. 17th, 2018 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
8hyenasI'm dragging myself through the boring repetitive hellhole that is my life. I'm dissatisfied with everything and disconnected from everyone. AND THEN. I start a new book. AHHH YES, take me away! Relief.
Current status: Trying to goad myself into the leaving the house, driving 2.5 hours to the town that contains both black people and a movie theater, and watching Black Panther. Not happening.
I started doing foster care to see if I wanted to have a kid permanently or not. It seemed so clean cut, if you want a kid take one. If you don't want one, give it back. HA! Guess what? It's more complicated. But one of my regrets, that I feel slightly guilty about regretting. Is that my kids were all white, all nine of them. There was even an entire training day spent teaching the prospective parents black hairstyles and skincare. But no. All white kids (thanks rural meth).
I want Raven to understand (at least a little) why I cried through the entire Moana movie, and then bought all the merchandise. I want a kid that gets why my mama gave me a blanket for Valentines and why it's beautiful and perfect. I want to take her to pow-wows and let her go dance with the other kids without feeling like I need to pull her back.
Instead I'm doing this weird thing where I'm trying to teach her about her privilege? Without making an 8 yr old feel bad. But of course she does, b/c slavery.
Current status: Trying to goad myself into the leaving the house, driving 2.5 hours to the town that contains both black people and a movie theater, and watching Black Panther. Not happening.
I started doing foster care to see if I wanted to have a kid permanently or not. It seemed so clean cut, if you want a kid take one. If you don't want one, give it back. HA! Guess what? It's more complicated. But one of my regrets, that I feel slightly guilty about regretting. Is that my kids were all white, all nine of them. There was even an entire training day spent teaching the prospective parents black hairstyles and skincare. But no. All white kids (thanks rural meth).
I want Raven to understand (at least a little) why I cried through the entire Moana movie, and then bought all the merchandise. I want a kid that gets why my mama gave me a blanket for Valentines and why it's beautiful and perfect. I want to take her to pow-wows and let her go dance with the other kids without feeling like I need to pull her back.
Instead I'm doing this weird thing where I'm trying to teach her about her privilege? Without making an 8 yr old feel bad. But of course she does, b/c slavery.
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Date: 2018-02-19 03:04 pm (UTC)You're a few years ahead of me, teaching kids about privilege. One of my kids will have it, one will not. And I imagine both kids will be tired of hearing me say "Take your brother with you." as a way to protect my daughter.