LOST and not the TV show.

I can't find my wallet. Which has all my keys, my ID, and my credit cards. I would mind but what makes it really horrible is that I can't fly home without ID. ARG SHIT FUCK WHERE ARE THEY!? I was in a huge snowball fight and they remained in my pocket, I got into the room which means I unlocked it and NOW they are lost.

ETA: FOUND and where were they? On the other side of the room behind my roommate's bed. How did they get there? No one here knows. But I bet someone there does. If you fuckers are sabotaging me...