![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Feb. 27th, 2005 08:33 pmRemember those pivotal moments? Not the ones when you look back and think "Oh. Shit. I should have said something different" but the ones that you realize the consequences before you say anything. Forgive me for sounding melodramatic but I just remembered one of my moments. I think I was around 11 and my life was shaping up to be exactly like my friends'. (Picture a very, very small hick town full of redneck and the most beautiful rivers and mountains that you could imagine.) Suffice to say that I said "no" to somethings and "yes" to others and was very neatly ostracized. (Why is that word like ostriches?)This has horrendous spelling and grammar but I'm not going to be bothered to check it. I'll just put a warning up top. I'm watching this cheaply made yet rather good movie which has a character that reminds me of one of my childhood aquaintances.
Now I...left the computer and don't remember the rest of the sentence I wanted to write. I don't remember a lot of things. Some of the things I don't remember I do. HA! At age 9 I convinced another girl that an ornamental pepper was instead a small apple tree. She ate one. And screamed and screamed. When getting the "you bad child interview" my defense was that if she was stupid enough to believe me she deserved the pain. The teacher was shocked for a moment then burst into laughter. I think that set the pattern for the rest of my life.
I have a silk journal which I've been writing in about once or twice a year since I was 9. I used to make circles over my "i"s and I'd always get my "bdszcfjgqprn"s mixed up. It made things quite unreadable. I don't like rereading it. I changed a lot. Even from last year. I WANT I WANT I WANT.
I spent the weekend doing extremely fun things. Things like falling down the side of mountains. Stomping through creeks and generally getting extremely dirty. What made it even better was that I was accompanied by a gangly puppy named Jenny. Sometimes my accent annoys me. But not often. Things sound so much more shocking when said in an accented voice... I forget ings ed and ishs. The Academy Awards are boring. *click*
Heather (best friend 7th grade) called me and I talked to her for 20 minutes thinking she was Emily. (Sorry Heather but you didn't say who was calling...) She's going to be here for four days next week(this week?). She giggles. About boys. Real ones! (Not the fictional type that I'm prone to squeal about) I can guarentee that she's not going to like me. Especially if I say the words "gay rights, queer pride, slash, or rimming" It's really hard for me not to say those words...
About two weeks ago I went to the doctors for a rather regular checkup (which included a scheuleding pelvic exam which I immediately canceled) everything was fine yadda yadda. Then "WHOA" everything's not fine. I go back, he talks about various the bloodtests that came back. (It's not an STD) They take even more blood v. painful. I go back. Dr. is worried. I don't get it. Apparently he doesn't accept my "I don't hurt. LET ME GO!" excuse. So now it's MRI time. WHAT'S AN MRI!? Does it involve getting naked? It does doesn't it. I'm going to be naked inside that little tubey thing. How does an MRI work? Is this the one where I have to drink nasty things? Please don't ask what it is because I don't actually know and neither does anyone else. I'm fine! (I really better be because my insurance runs out March 3 and there's no way I'm paying for anything when I don't hurt)
I can't wait until school gets out! I get a kitten! And Jenny! I love the country. But not the "You're so tall!!! You poor thing, it must be hard finding boys taller than you." this is all said in a tone that better suits a cancer victim. I've been nice so far, gritting my teeth and smiling sweetly (and very pointedly NOT growling). But three is my limit so the next one gets a carefully prepared response...
"I don't date boys. I prefer girls."
"Not really! I mean I totally have like three."
Or my favorite...
"They don't have to be taller. I like being on top."
Does anyone else read lj entries frantically searching for personal tidbits? How old is she? Is she married? Where does she live? I do.
I don't quite love you all. But some of you I feel a vague fondness towards.
I don't want to sleep but I'm so very tired.
Now I...left the computer and don't remember the rest of the sentence I wanted to write. I don't remember a lot of things. Some of the things I don't remember I do. HA! At age 9 I convinced another girl that an ornamental pepper was instead a small apple tree. She ate one. And screamed and screamed. When getting the "you bad child interview" my defense was that if she was stupid enough to believe me she deserved the pain. The teacher was shocked for a moment then burst into laughter. I think that set the pattern for the rest of my life.
I have a silk journal which I've been writing in about once or twice a year since I was 9. I used to make circles over my "i"s and I'd always get my "bdszcfjgqprn"s mixed up. It made things quite unreadable. I don't like rereading it. I changed a lot. Even from last year. I WANT I WANT I WANT.
I spent the weekend doing extremely fun things. Things like falling down the side of mountains. Stomping through creeks and generally getting extremely dirty. What made it even better was that I was accompanied by a gangly puppy named Jenny. Sometimes my accent annoys me. But not often. Things sound so much more shocking when said in an accented voice... I forget ings ed and ishs. The Academy Awards are boring. *click*
Heather (best friend 7th grade) called me and I talked to her for 20 minutes thinking she was Emily. (Sorry Heather but you didn't say who was calling...) She's going to be here for four days next week(this week?). She giggles. About boys. Real ones! (Not the fictional type that I'm prone to squeal about) I can guarentee that she's not going to like me. Especially if I say the words "gay rights, queer pride, slash, or rimming" It's really hard for me not to say those words...
About two weeks ago I went to the doctors for a rather regular checkup (which included a scheuleding pelvic exam which I immediately canceled) everything was fine yadda yadda. Then "WHOA" everything's not fine. I go back, he talks about various the bloodtests that came back. (It's not an STD) They take even more blood v. painful. I go back. Dr. is worried. I don't get it. Apparently he doesn't accept my "I don't hurt. LET ME GO!" excuse. So now it's MRI time. WHAT'S AN MRI!? Does it involve getting naked? It does doesn't it. I'm going to be naked inside that little tubey thing. How does an MRI work? Is this the one where I have to drink nasty things? Please don't ask what it is because I don't actually know and neither does anyone else. I'm fine! (I really better be because my insurance runs out March 3 and there's no way I'm paying for anything when I don't hurt)
I can't wait until school gets out! I get a kitten! And Jenny! I love the country. But not the "You're so tall!!! You poor thing, it must be hard finding boys taller than you." this is all said in a tone that better suits a cancer victim. I've been nice so far, gritting my teeth and smiling sweetly (and very pointedly NOT growling). But three is my limit so the next one gets a carefully prepared response...
"I don't date boys. I prefer girls."
"Not really! I mean I totally have like three."
Or my favorite...
"They don't have to be taller. I like being on top."
Does anyone else read lj entries frantically searching for personal tidbits? How old is she? Is she married? Where does she live? I do.
I don't quite love you all. But some of you I feel a vague fondness towards.
I don't want to sleep but I'm so very tired.
