SHIT. Shit. Shit.
I am such a stupid idiot. I wasn't thinking and started talking to my mom. I wasn't watching what I was saying. I'm going to be in therapy again, I can feel it. Apparently I realized these facts after getting pissed about the human race, talking about population control, then, the worst yet, a loving description of what it would be like to beat someone to death with a lug wrench. And this wasn't enough, OH NO... I then make an amendment "hmmm no I don't think I'd kill them, I want them to still be able to crawl after me screaming." There's nothing wrong with me. I'm sure other people want to do the same. I want to kill and hurt and maim, I want to make them scream. And Jessa's right. How will I ever be able to carve my name into someone's arm perfectly if I don't practice?
Shit. I'm freaking out. I'm going to lay here in the dark and wait until I fall asleep. Sleeping is wonderful. It cures everything.